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The 30 Most Portland Things That Have Ever Happened In Portland

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    1. A poop vandal terrorized the stop signs downtown
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    2. Someone locked their Hula-Hoop to a bike rack
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    3. A man with a Darth Vader mask unicycled down the street while playing bagpipes
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    4. That same guy unicycled down the street in a flood dressed as Gandalf
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    5. Someone stole a large blue gorilla wearing gold shorts
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    6. "Trek in the Park" happened
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    7. Bacon Mondays
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    8. A woman took her pet parrot through the McDonald's drive-through
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    9. Service cats
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    10. The LARP club was established
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    11. This was a news story
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    12. Also this
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    13. A man chilled with his alpaca on the side of the street
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    14. Someone found a chicken
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    15. Someone else was missing a chicken
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    16. Two guys decided to knit together while waiting for a plane
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    17. Someone sold their drag queen kit at a garage sale
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    18. Two jellyfish closed down a street
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    19. A man covered his entire body in leaves
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    20. A baby was stolen
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    21. Another person locked up their Hula-Hoop
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    22. Some asshole broke a tree and then someone tacked this note to it
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    23. The "PoeTree":
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    24. "Birds on Things"
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    25. This happened
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    26. So did this
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    27. This
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    28. Can't forget about this
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    29. This too
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    30. THE END.